It really isn’t you, it’s me. I have been falling out of love with people for the last year and let me tell you why.
I worked out MY boundaries, what I was willing to take and what I no longer could take. It started with my work space and my work relationships. Once I set those boundaries it was a huge change, yes not all were ready for my honesty and there was carnage! This is something that our family does discuss and yep there has been emotions and tears.
But what blew me away was on how much I let friendships cross my boundaries. Why do I let this happen? Do I think I won’t be liked if I shared my boundaries in my friendships? Will I have no friends if I say what I really think? Well instead of the old Facebook friend clear out….. I called it “We need to talk”. I am now so super duper clear, it’s not just about being on the same bus (spiritual journey about loving ourselves) but if you are not about empowering each other. If you are not about making the most out of your life. If you don’t come from a place of love, then I need to say it is shaky ground and let’s unfriend.
Before you start thinking this blog is about you, I am dragging around my own bag of emotional issues that is over 40 years old. So honestly, get over yourself, THIS IS ABOUT ME!
I need to be real here, friendship is a relationship, so we will have ups and downs and it is a rollercoaster ride. Deal with it! There is no such thing as perfection.
I want you to come over when my hair is shit, my house isn’t perfect and I am in fat clothes and you don’t judge me… instead you ask if I need a hand. I will do the same for you. Please just walk around my kitchen like you own it. Make tea, eat from my fridge – when you are comfortable, I am comfortable.
I don’t want to bitch about other people, I don’t like it. Of course we can vent when we are pissed off.. but the general bitching is a no-go zone. Stop doing it. Women need to stick together – do any of really know each other’s journeys.
I communicate, I want you to do the same. I don’t have a crystal ball – if something is going please let me know.
Ring me because you want to, you want to hear my voice and you want to chat. Don’t ring me because you feel like you have to
I am a mum, a soldier, friend, lover, mentor and writer – I have shit going on. If I haven’t communicated in a bit – IT IS NOT YOU! It is me! I am dealing with some stuff… I miss you too! Don’t guilt me – it is the worst.
If you need me just call – don’t make me guess from messages! I suck at reading between the lines.
Your priorities might not be my priorities – let's respect our differences.
Be real, I don’t do fake.
Be positive, be you – let's work out how to deal with shit and move forward. I can cry with you, I can give you space to talk. I won’t judge, and I need you to do the same.
If I want to drink wine on Monday night, I am drinking wine!
When I am angry I need a little space to calm down, I am a fiery little thing. If I am wrong, I will apologise – do the same. Magic happens in the space- give things time!
I already know I am crazy, but I love my type of crazy.. in the words of Siskin River “you got to go through hell to burn like me”
I take responsibility for ME! So, these are my boundaries, if I am not being any of this… Call me on it! I need and respect your honesty!
So, this is my unfriend, this is the moment I lay it on the line! I strive every single damn day to be a better person, to love myself more. To empower others to do the same.
To the women of my tribe, I LOVE THE HELL OUT OF YOU! Let’s do this thing called LIFE together, it is such a wonderful ride.
I want you to be happy in your career; with my workshops we can tackle any issues that stop you from reaching that. You won't need a sea change but love who you are and what you do.