What the hell am I talking about? What is the bus stop? Well the bus stop to me is the people who are not on my bus or my journey, we have different journeys, at different times and I feel the bus stop is how I explain where everyone else is at!! Or they are on another bus…… With multiple people going in difference directions.. not on the same journey but we are sometimes sharing the same space.
I hear time and time again that we are all not on the bus! We are all not on this journey of self discovery, love, growth, authenticity! Some of us are just surviving and others are just not on the bus. I know I am a little further down the road than most and had a few stops and starts and sat at a few bus stops myself.. but I am on the bus and it is a journey! I really feel even people close to me are possibly on slightly different buses but we jump on and off each other’s constantly.. and we stay connected that way.
It is great when you get with people that are on the bus, when you talk to them, discover with them, work with them, but how do we survive when those people are not on the bus? I asked this question out loud because like most things or even most cultures, tribes, religions, groups, cults.. we kind of want everyone on the bus with us. But that will never be the case, so how do we make the bus stop comfortable? How do we make it an experience for all of us to enjoy? That is the million dollar question.
I agree that you need to be with and engage with people on the same journey, it does set you on fire and it assists with your own development, your own growth and honestly it just bloody makes the bus ride way more enjoyable. Well it does for me. I know I have stopped hanging out with people that are not on my ride or support my trip. These actions I choose to do at this point because I feel like I don’t have as much time to waste as I once did, or maybe I am just more passionate about my journey now, I believe in what I am doing and I trust that this is the right ride for me.
Day in and day out you gotta hang out there, you have to go to the stop to get on your bus.. and there is people that are not coming with you.. so how do we make that bus stop more comfortable? I have been sitting loosely with this and it has been a topic of discussion. The first thing that came to mind when I talked about making the bus stop comfortable was that I was going to clean it, I was talking to a mate on the bus and his response “standard Kylie style, are you going to Glen 20 it and clean it right up?” You know what, I am!!!! Then add some oils and crystals and we may even serve tea.. no wait we will serve tea!
So I can clean it, I can make it smell great, I can decorate it, I can put up colours but you know what, not everyone loves that. The more people I meet and the more I talk to I can see we are all at different stages. Some of us are keen to jump on the bus after you talk about it, some are not too sure and want to do their own thing for awhile.
So what do I? Acceptance, Acceptance, Acceptance! Why do I get so annoyed that friends, family, and other people can not see your growth and you’re changing and accept who you have become or who you are becoming. Why is it hard for me to accept where they are at in their life? So for me I start with acceptance. Secondly lets go with protection, I protect myself.. I do not have to sit and listen to abuse and harsh words. I am as important as my story is! I need to not return rejection with harsh words! Then there has to be love and understanding, love for where I am at and love for where they are at.. and lastly being ADAPTABLE AF! Things change so quickly and not every one has the rule book about the bus stop so adapt to the situation and work out what you need when things go wrong at your particular bus stop!
I have lost friends, they didn’t like my bus! It really hurts that there can’t be a mutual acceptance of each other’s journeys and accepting that we all need to get to our destination in our own time and in our own way. I sometimes sit on my bus and mourn… it is hard and sad and I try to give them the respect they need but if I keep trying to explain myself it does feel that I am speaking another language! They keep questioning me and just add their beliefs to what I am saying and the conversation becomes messed up.
Not everyone is on our journey and you know what, that is ok, I will respect and treat them with love just like I do with people on my journey. I won’t justify why I am there, I won’t sit there and agree with you or bag others on my journey to make it more comfortable for you.. what I will do is engage (in my clean surroundings hehehehe) sip some tea with you and show up with love and keep speaking my words! MY WORDS! Yep, I will keep saying my stuff, and maybe one day my words of love will hit a point that you will hop on the bus with me.
I will however let go and not try to hang onto people that don’t understand or accept. I will have an abundant amount of acceptance for my journey and for theirs, and I will have actions of grace! I feel to survive the bus stop we need a little bit of self protection, a little bit of a thick skin, a lot of acceptance, and a heart ready to believe and trust in the journey that we are on.. THERE ARE OTHERS OUT THERE ON YOUR BUS! Go be with your people.
To survive the ride and others at the bus stop, trust in yourself, follow your heart, be where you want to be! I am doing this and it is ok, I love the curiosity others have for my journey but I will respect every single persons journey.
I was attending this amazing luncheon for women, listening to some inspiring stories that had taken a corporate female to leave that life behind and follow a path which seemed more like a love for life than work.. but they created their own business in the process.
This would be a dream for so many women but not a reality, so how do we take that passion, vulnerability, rawness and put that into our current working environment.
A quote from Kyle Cease said “Love it or leave it”, this has stuck with me, I feel that if we took some lessons from these women who had a “sea change” in their career and put that into our current work situation we could possibly love that environment. So what is the difference and what is that we need to do differently?
Working within a male dominated industry for 17 years and completely loving the differences between genders, it is easy to see that male and females really do network and communicate differently. It took a sabbatical to see the major differences and all the benefits from doing so.
At the luncheon there were a couple of women at my table that I was chatting to, I wanted to get insights on why these women attended such an event. I was surprised at their responses, they felt that they needed to do something for themselves instead of that standard Friday lunch, beers and network sessions that seemed to them to be more suited to the boys in the office. They had felt tired of feeling like they needed to stay in the office but were in desperate need of an outlet. Now don’t get me wrong, I don’t mind a good beer and chat on a Friday afternoon but what I took away from an all female luncheon really was food for thought.
How do women network and be authentic and show a love for what they do that is different to attending the bar on Friday afternoon with the boys? What has stood out is when women share stories, gather together to empower each other, by different methods such as Luncheons, Power circles, gratitude brunches, life edit workshops, yoga, deep meditation circles.. the list goes on but my point is when women gather together and they get to take off that mask magic happens and women get that empowerment they need and network in a feminine energetic way. This type of behaviour you don’t see at the bar with the boys for those Friday beers.
When women get together, they create, they share and they nurture each other. This is an amazing empowering experience. Once those “masks” come off and the trust is put in the circle a bond is created and the network has been created. It is when there is a complete feminine energy this occurs and something I only occasionally see in a mixed gender group.
There is an importance in making this type of networking acceptable in a male dominated workplace, when it is encouraged and accepted amongst our male work mates then we create a new culture! It is great to have both energies in the workplace, both masculine and feminine as we bring different things to the table.
Once women share their struggles and dreams only then do they become raw, real and vulnerable. It is when women behave that way they do empower each other and network beautifully.
The support and empowerment that occurs when the labels are placed away and the real women present themselves is something exceptional. This feeds their souls, it creates acceptance, and by allowing this type of feminine space and energy to occur we build their better selves, happier souls and more productive female workers.
What does this actually look like in a workplace? We need all those team leaders, supervisors, managers, and influencers to grow acceptance in their workplaces and to actually walk that path. Let’s embrace what diversity is in the workplace and encourage empowerment of the individuals in what ever way it is needed. Let’s create a fully engaged workforce that don’t require a “sea change” in their career but actually love what they do where they are now!
So I look forward to more of these women’s luncheons where I love how they network and I am happy to recognise that our genders do have different needs. Instead of women staying in the office on Friday afternoon, I encourage a different network approach and to seek out a great networking group that does empower you.
I want you to be happy in your career; with my workshops we can tackle any issues that stop you from reaching that. You won't need a sea change but love who you are and what you do.