I am in a coffee shop with my almond croissant that I have not touched, and I have tears running down my face as I talk to my gorgeous friend from my circle. I am telling her that I do my practices, I am very self-aware of my emotions when things are happening for me, I have a huge education on making myself a priority so “how the fuck did I get into this shit show vortex?” I have been thrown off balance, the Inner Critic is having a god damn field day with me and I feel like a total teary mess. She looks me straight in the eyes and tells me ‘You are asking the wrong question’ Ummmmmm big pause as I was seeking comfort and was hurting, and this one sentence stopped me in my tracks! As I wiped my eyes and I sat up and asked, ‘what do you mean?’ Was I ready for her response? she said to me ‘The question is how you are going to move out of it’. 

Why the hell was I dwelling on how I got there when the perfect question and what I needed to do more than ever was to shift this feeling; how was I going to action that. Sitting in that shit show vortex and even with all that I know I could not see clearly, I was stuck in it – stuck in the story of woe is me and I am exhausted and I am done, I have had enough, I am packing my bags and moving to Canada away from everyone. Most of all of this fuelled by my Inner Critic and she was creating one hell of a story. It isn’t that I forget to just process my emotions, it isn’t that I did not know how to shift these feelings, it isn’t that I am hopeless but when fatigue, emotional, physical or trauma arises I struggle at times of what I need to do. Then once I am in that story well, my IC loves the drama and my role as the leading lady has to be played, Gold Logie style. I am talking about how we just don’t see what we can do but rather just be really stuck in our story. Well, my role has changed over the years and I do make time to sit with it BUT still, I was stuck and that is what affected me. How do I still get stuck and asking that same old question ‘How did I get here?’ It has been probably a few years that I felt this way. But here I was again. 

Honestly the work I have been doing not take this path has been huge, cultivating daily practices to help deal with emotional fatigue, sadness, hurt and trauma. I have recently loved a particular meditation about accepting the ‘bad’ taking it in and releasing a tonne of love. It really felt like the final piece of the puzzle on how to deal, accept and trust when I had something coming at me. I have worked on time and looking back at my successes and my 100% success rate and my toolbox are seriously overflowing on how to deal with anything that may rise. So I am feeling pretty good about it, I write about, I present about it all and I do feel that I have it covered. 

See I can’t escape life, I can’t escape that sometimes I feel overwhelmed and that possibly even though I have journeyed it before, there might be a new lesson in this space and I need to look at it from another angle. 

The question I then asked myself was ‘how am I going to move out of this?’ I realised that I needed some rest, some quiet so I could think, some time alone to create space, a cleansed area, bathtubs, chocolate, my journal and a book. With all of this, I could breathe, I could process those emotions that took me to the shit show and I can unpack it one by one. Oh, the magic of this space and realising this is exactly how I shift this. I know I need different things for different lessons. You don’t have to have the answer to exactly how but start with the first step. I still have a bit of a hangover from it all and I certainly cant perfect moving out of it with ease and speed. It is just what it is, so I am currently in be gentle mode until I feel 100% again. I can't force it and some lessons take more time than others. I know it took me a whole year when I separated from my ex-husband. It was step by step. 

I am still learning to be ok with my ups and downs and not be hard on myself when I find myself somewhere I wish I wasn’t. It is ok to learn, it is ok to be emotional and deal with it the right way. It is so ok to eat chocolate and it is more than ok to reach out.  Once there is acceptance there is a big shift and we have trajectory again to the path we would much rather be on. 

I do know that we cannot avoid the hard stuff that happens to us, around us and with us. I can't run from it, I can't avoid it but I do have to sit with it every now and then, have trust, learn from it and shift to a better place. Like the sun and the moon, we need both to grow. 

I have written this question down and placed in my journal, another prompt to always make sure I am asking the right question. I choose to be living in a higher vibe but I have all the tools to deal with the lower vibes, just got to remind myself to step out of the drama first. 

Are you asking the right questions?

Going through the airport security and you are asked to empty out the contents of your handbag! Well, this could get kind of interesting if you are anyone like me and really do carry around with you EVERYTHING YOU NEED! At least I did not set the alarm off it was just my bag looks kind of odd through the x-ray machine. I really don’t think it was the crystals that concerned the security lady, but they really did look at me funny as at least five of my favourite rocks fall out onto the counter. 

I actually have so many funny stories when it comes to crystals. Stories that span back 16 years of what I have always called my hippy approach to protection and love. I have found out so much more over the years and have recently been gifted into my life one amazing lady Kathy @geo junkie – talk about girl crushing. I love every single crystal that she talks about and I want one of everything. Shut up and take my money! 

I can’t remember if I purchased my first crystal or if it was a gift but I remember I was in a bad place emotionally, like so many of us I was going through one of those big life challenges - a divorce with my daughters father and I did everything I could to keep my head above water at this stage – I clung to crystals for dear life. I know I really did not understand them or their power but when you are at rock bottom and honestly  I was trying to hold onto anything to get through each and every day.  I had no idea of how these crystals interacted with my energy or why I chose certain ones or why I had them in my bra, pockets, car, handbags but like everything I do – I understand so much more NOW. Gotta love those lessons. 

So, on reflection, it really was going from one or two that I shoved in my bra to now crystals around the entire house. Every entrance to the house has crystals, bedroom, my work area and the staircase basically if you enter my home you will cross paths with my crystals. I really feel the energy of people more than ever before and I know that sounds hippy as hell but honestly all of us can feel this – I bet you have felt it walking into a room after an argument like when the air is so thick you can cut it with a knife or a salesperson who is a little bit prickly when you are being super nice. Well take this and then times it by a 100 and that is what I feel and whenever someone is covering it up "got their mask on" I still feel it.    I place crystals specifically in my home to clear out any negative energy that has stuck to me, my family or any visitor coming in. You could call my home a complete 'energy safe zone' so it is a space I can rest, ground and relax. This is intentional due to the last few years of trauma and needing to find an area I could heal.  Previously I have been physically ill from toxic energy and toxic environments (have you gotten a terrible headache at work etc) Well all those little things you just might shake off and ignore I can see now more than ever it is energy. So this is how crystals play an important part in my day to day. 

It is not all about protection but also I use these crystals so I can feel happy, empowered, creative and love all with different crystals. So, I spread that around my house and also with my family – looking after and loving my nearest and dearest. I can tell you that this really works for me. I feel though it is so normalised as crystals are very mainstream now. 

Honestly, they don't like to sit still and I do see some are winking at me (you could say they catch your eye) these are the ones that I know that I need to hold onto for that day. I do however find them everywhere in clutches, jean pockets and yes even the washing machine. I do tend to gift to others, sometimes the other person needs them more.  

David (my partner) would say it is a much cheaper habit than loving diamond jewellery (do love those too) but I have come to use them everywhere I go….. Oh, this one time I was heading into surgery and I had a little bag of special crystals to get me through the procedure (total hate going under and paranoid about what I will say). The nurses were great and the anesthetist was a little unsure because I would not let go of them. When I had woken my bag of crystals were taped to my chest so no one would lose them and they were safe during the procedure. I love that it is so accepting. 

Crystals give me so much joy and really a big part of my seven foundations that get me through the day. You will always find me with one, come ask me to empty my pockets and see what type I am carrying around.